No one wants to house swap with me? Let me see if I can write an ad to make it sound more attractive.
ATTENTION NEAT FREAKS - House swap available. Idyllic wooded setting, 3 bedroom, 2 bath brick house with previously made mess for you to straighten out. Imagine the feeling of accomplishment you will feel, after you've put this house in order, redecorated it, stained the deck and painted the kitchen. Love carpentry work? The owner will give you carte blanche to build in some cabinets, closets or bookshelves. As an added bonus, the owners, their 3 children, 3 dogs and 3 cats will come to your house and make a wonderful mess for you to clean there. So really, you'll get 2 weeks of fun for the price of one (which is free other than your transportation!) What a great deal! Don't let this opportunity pass you by!