It's Christmas Eve, Eve.

Our family has a lot of traditions, things we do every year.  The Christmas countdown calendar, hiding candy in the tree, going to the Christmas play at church, going to my parent's house at Christmas Eve and going to my in-law's house on Christmas day.  For me, it usually really seems like Christmas at the Christmas play at church which was last night.  Old friends attend and the church is packed, the play is always entertaining and funny and I see people I only get to see once a year and now, lately, their new grandchildren -- not that I am old or anything!   I also usually enjoy the Christmas Eve service at church because that is a time when anyone can share a song, a poem, a reading or a personal story.  It's very beautiful and special. 

This year's Christmas is a bittersweet because of my mom's condition.  She is so anxious and worried and the doctor will not give her an anti-anxiety pill of any kind.  Last night, I went and picked her up and my family met me at the church.  Because of our conversations on the 20 minute ride to church, I sat there and cried through half the service, finally, got myself under control during the middle and then took mom home and cried all the way back.  Then when I got home, I sat down with all 3 of my kids and watched Friends.  That is not a Christmas tradition, but it is what came from Netflix on Saturday, so its what we watched.  This disc had the hilarious song from Phoebe "I'm in the shower and I'm writing this song, stop me if you've heard it.  My body is soapy and my hair is wet and Tegrin spelled backwards is Nirget ... lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat ... as needed".  So we had some good laughs together. 

I think this Christmas is going to be a roller coaster of emotions for me.   I had better buckle up.  :-(