Tuesday, December 24, 2013

A Different Christmas

Adjusting, adjusting, adjusting.  Everything about this year and this holiday season has been adjusting.   I would have liked for some things to stay the same.  The old routines are apparently comforting to me and so I have felt upset about all the changes this year.  I would like to be able to hold onto the usual Christmas stuff at least until my kids are grown, but it is not to be.  Our Christmases always involved going to Grandma and Granddaddy's house on Christmas eve, then to church, then coming home and staying awake half the night, then getting up early, getting presents from each other and Santa and then going to Mamaw's house for Christmas breakfast.  It's always been fun and exhausting and wonderful (and yes, I did whine about the lack of sleep!).  My youngest son especially has wanted to hang onto these traditions.  A few years ago when Mamaw's bathroom was being remodeled and was out of service on Christmas day and we went to my brother-in-law's house for breakfast, he was pretty upset about it.  Over the past 4 years, we have adjusted from it being Grandma and Granddaddy's house to just Grandmas. :-(

We knew this year was going to be different with Mom in assisted living.   Her house is in limbo, sitting there empty until we decide what to do with it so there is going to be no Christmas eve at Grandma's this year.  We had decided to host here on Christmas eve, same people, different house, but it is not to be.  My brother has made alternate plans and so we now have no plans tonight at all.   I probably will go spend some time with Mom but I am not sure.  We may move our opening presents from each other to tonight.  Again, not sure.  I feel really strange, not having a plan for tonight. 

So then tomorrow, my mother in law doesn't feel like hosting so we are going to my brother-in-law's again.  Sigh.  I guess I better just get over it.   A little warning on either of the disrupted plans would have helped me deal with it maybe a little better.   As it is, I am having a very emotional Christmas to end a very emotional year.    I am going to try and put a smile on my face, and make some new traditions.   One thought I had was trying to do some random acts of kindness tonight and we may do that. 

Oh well, I guess I'd better get to work.  

I hope that everyone has a nice Christmas this year.

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