Home*School*Home
The issue of socialization always seems to come up when people talk about homeschooling. Some people think that if kids are homeschooled, they won't have any friends. My daughter came up to me tonight and said that she had 14 best friends and then named them all. Some are from church, some cousins and some from our homeschooling group. All of them are good kids and I know all of their parents.
Then my daughter and I started talking about my youngest son and how shy he used to be and how he cried every morning of first grade in public school and how someone at the school said that if we homeschooled him, he'd get worse, not better. She said "He's much better now. He's not shy at all. He was just like Leo the Late Bloomer and now he has bloomed."
2 comments:
That's what people don't understand: children who feel loved and secure aren't shy and clingy. My children are quite talkative and have little trouble with strangers. I, on the other hand, went to school and still have trouble socializing. I never felt secure. My kids do.
So many people say that to make a child secure, you need to force him to 'suck it up' and put up with being separated from what makes them secure. Howwash! To learn security, a child needs to BE secure, to feel secure, to know he is safe. Anything else just glosses over the insecurity. The first time I was faced with that mentality was when my oldest (now 17) was 1.5 years old. I was on a bowling league and unsure if I was going to put him in the nursery. He had stayed with me the year before and did just fine (all the older ladies competed with each other to play with him, but mostly he entertained himself). Well I decided since I could see into the room without him seeing me, I'd try the nursery. It was a disaster! One time I came to get him and he was screaming. He probably hadn't been crying long, cos I did check every 10 minutes or so, but even so, the nursery worker was ignoring him. And even fussed at me for being worried. "Oh, all kids do that when the other mothers come in." (None of the other 12 children still left in the nursery were crying. Over the next few weeks, I kept an eye on him and when he'd get too uncomfortable, I'd go in and get him. The nursery worker actually left the room one time to come lecture me on making children feel secure. This is a woman who's 4 year wept and clung to her leg the whole time they were there. I told her she could beleive what she wanted, but in order for a child to learn independence, they need security. Then way they learn to feel secure is to have at least one person they know is there for them and will take care of them. I was that person for my son and if he wanted me, he got me. Especially at 1 year old! That was the last day he went into that nursery. And this was the only nursery I ever had a problem with. He loved getting to go to the church nursery. He loved going to other events as he got older. I can't remember any 'separation anxiety' while he was growing up. Or maybe the way I handled it made it a 'non-issue'. As they got older and I would have to leave them, if they cried, I would hug them close and tell them I loved them and would be back in xhour. When I got back, I would say, "See, Mommy came back in xhours, just like she told you. Mommy always comes back." I learned that from a very wise older woman (one of those bowlers who vied for W's attention LOL). So keep them home! They develop a strong sense of security and then are not afraid to venture out into new adventures, whether it's a trip to the park or an job on the other side of the world.
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