Tiny Home Improvements.

I've got a little can of white paint and I've been going around making improvements to our house in tiny ways.  I need to repaint most of the house, but I don't want to/don't feel like I have time to, so right now I'm doing touch-ups here and there.  I tell you, having dogs and children is hard on a house.  :-)  I took pictures and sent them from my phone to my computer because I prefer blogging on the computer for ease of typing, then I carefully saved them naming them paint 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.  I was pleased with the paint job that I did yesterday and wanted to share it, but I cannot find them on my computer.   My photo file skips from "Outback" to "Pam" and I can't figure out where paint went.  So just imagine my baseboards and window sill looking a tiny bit better and there you go.  

Today, I've got to go to the grocery and a few things to do to get ready for the fall festival at church.  My son and I had dentist appointments today but the dentist called and rescheduled us!  :-)  So since I can't share the pictures I wanted to share, here are some random ones.

The Ohio River.  The thing that looks like a ghost sailboat is a piece of paper reflecting on the car window.

Duncan.

Squinch.  You can't see her mustache in this picture.  :-) 

The sky above my house.

Our front door (which also needs to be painted but probably won't be.)

Still defending homeschooling.

At church yesterday I was talking about the little store where we sell our art.  Someone asked if we were going to keep doing it.  It has been a little bit profitable this year, mostly for the girl.  I don't know if I want to keep doing it but she does.  The main reason I decided to go there and sell things was that they required us to volunteer in the store and I wanted my daughter to be able to do it and get work experience.  She did learn to use the computer and the cash register and greet customers, bag their items, run their credit cards, etc., but now she has another job and is thriving in it.  So, I'd be okay with letting this one go.  We were discussing that my daughter is/has been shy and is getting out of it somewhat and one of the ladies there said "Well, did you homeschool her the whole time? That's probably why she is shy."  Now if homeschooling caused shyness, I'd have 3 shy kids instead of only 2.  My kids are introverts and the youngest is a bit shy, the girl is more shy and the oldest is fearless when it comes to meeting new people and doing new things, not shy at all.  I tried to explain it, but I don't think I got anywhere.

Oh well.

How We Raised Our Kids To Be Friends.

The main thing, of course, was homeschooling.  We didn't start until their 6th grade, 3rd grade and 1st grade years, but homeschooling was the best thing we did for our kids.  They spent a lot of time together, which helps with siblings being friends.  We also did a couple of things to help them learn to negotiate, one was a "kid of the day" system.  Each kid had 2 days a week where they were the kid of the day.  I took the extra one.  On that day, if there was a dispute that couldn't be solved or a choice to be made, the kid of the day won it.  If we were out and about and needed to get something to eat, the kid of the day chose the restaurant.  The kid of the day got to choose the TV shows at Grandma's house where they had cable, which led to the hilarious mix-up one day when they thought it was youngest son's day, but it was oldest son's day.   Oldest looked at youngest and said dramatically "You made me watch Spongebob!"

Another thing that may have contributed to our success with adult kids who get along and really love each other, is the screen time limits.  Since screens could not come on until 6 to 7 pm (It changed over the years) they kind of had to interact throughout the day.  They had school together and then they had free time without screens together.  They played a lot.  They had elaborate play scenarios that would range all over the house and outside.  They constructed huge things in the living room out of books, video cassettes, Lego, K-nex, etc. and of course, pillow and blanket forts.

The main thing I did though, was to coach them on how to compromise.  If they had a toy they were fighting over, at first I would talk them through a compromise where one could play with it for a predetermined period of time, then the other one would get it.  Kid of the day would get to go first.  We'd come up with ideas where each could be overall happy with the plan.  Then as they got better at this, I started trying to get them to compromise without involving me at all.  I did this by solving the problem most efficiently, if they were fighting over the toy, I'd take the toy away for the day.  If they were fighting over TV shows, I'd turn the TV off the rest of the day.  I'd say "you have 2 minutes to work something out or the TV goes off for the day"  (or "the toy is mine!") and let me tell you, they learned how to work things out.

I emphasized that we were a team.  When my oldest broke his ankle and we had to take him to immediate care, one of the other kids started whining about something and I said, "we're a team" and the whining stopped.  Everyone knew that the oldest had to come first at that time.  When he had to be non-weight-bearing on that ankle for 14 weeks (not even resting it on the ground when he was sitting) the other 2 kids waited on him hand and foot, without complaining.

Of course, they occasionally get on each other's nerves.  Sometimes somebody needs to retreat a bit, go outside, go in their rooms and set boundaries on how much one person can talk to another person without a break.  ;-)  (Some of us are very, very talkative and other people need to THINK!)  Our family is not perfect, but the kids get along very well.  People have commented on it many times when we have spent a lot of time with them, so I know it's unusual, but it's not difficult to do.

I credit Parent's Magazine for the kid of the day idea.

A slow Internet funny.

Those of us who have to put up with slow Internet occasionally get some laughs out of it.  For some reason facebook , when it can't load a photo,  will put in a placeholder, a description of what is on the picture.   It amuses me.   Here are a couple of examples,  one is a  prom picture and one is of a friend's son sitting with some other kids waiting for sports practice to start.  

Weird times.

I've been blogging for 11 years and in that time, we've had plenty of new normals to get used to. Right now, with no job, but looking for a job, I feel like I'm kind of in limbo.  I like being at home, but I don't like to think about getting a job and establishing a new routine, again.  Sigh.  As bad as the job I had was, it was the devil I knew, if you know what I mean.  I had a routine.  I got up, worked my 4 hours, took a shower and either did something with the kids, cleaned the house or went to see mom.  Now I've got those 'blank days' that I've always looked forward to and then freaked out about because I couldn't handle a blank day.   I'm doing okay with it, getting ready for our visiting family in November, doing some major house rearranging and reorganizing because it just needs to be done and I can do it now, trying to lose weight, trying to get some art done because it's selling pretty well right now and keeping much busier than I would have thought I'd be.  Right now I'm baking a quiche, sewing up my son's pants and blogging.  I've got a job interview on Thursday.  Sigh.  I'm tired of the whole applying and interviewing process.  It's hard putting yourself out there.  The last interview had a lot of very difficult questions about what I want to do with my life and where I see myself in 5 years.  Old.  That's where I see myself.  :-P   Now that I'm finished with homeschooling, I need something else to do that brings meaning to my life.  A few years ago we did personality types and I found out I am an INFJ which means that the search for meaning is particularly important to me.  This is a good article from Penelope Trunk about meaningfulness.

And here is a kind of explanation of what it's like to be an INFJ to be friendly and personable and yet introverted, it's a paradox.

Anyway, that's my "life after homeschooling" post (there have been many and there will be many more) but what are my homeschooled kids doing?  My oldest is getting ready to graduate from college with a degree in religion, my girl is working at a Montessori school and working on her novel and my youngest is working on getting his driver's license so he can get a job and save up and go to college next year.  He's also planning to retake the ACT this Saturday to try and improve his score and his scholarship opportunities because as we all know, working and saving for even a year won't pay for college these days. 

Back to Square One.

I hate square one and here I am again.    I have had a couple of job interviews and basically was offered one job, but it was driving elderly clients to the doctor's office and my husband didn't want me using my personal vehicle for that, due to insurance costs and wear and tear on the vehicle.  The other job, they decided not to offer it to me, but asked if they could keep my resume on file in case they had another opening in the future.  So here I am, at home.  For the most part, I  like being at home.  I'm enjoying spending this time with my kids who will be leaving the nest soon enough.  Youngest is planning to be at college next year.  I just would like to have some income.  :-(

Sigh.

Maybe I'll find something soon.