Friday, June 14, 2013

A glimpse into the book my 2 youngest kids are writing.

BEFORE:  This is what my son wrote.

this pattern continued for a good 30 seconds, then my sword lit up and started trailing a ribbon of light as wide as my sword was long. Krrall’s sword couldn’t go through it, so I tried to keep it in between Krrall and me. A new pattern began; Krrall swung, hit my light with a dreadful screeching sound and was thrown back violently. I then went forward and hacked at his sword, and then Krrall would swing again. It wasn’t too long till Krrall decided to stab at me. Then, stepping back, I slammed my sword on to the flat of Krralls sword pushing it down to the ground then putting my boot on it then slamming my shoulder against his a move I had used on Eyrhoss dozens of times it was usually fallowed by  me putting the tip of my sword to his throat and saying
         “Dead” I said putting the tip of my sword on the cross guard of Narafayorlumo Krralls possessed blade and as if my sword knew what it was doing it was irresistibly sliding out of my hand falling thru the sword on the ground the parts of the swords lining up as the tip of lumonara moved toward the tip of narafayorlumo black and red mist pored out of it when the swords were lined up  and the mist had formed  it self in to a vaguely human shape but with horns and it was massive at least six cereets* tall and three cereets wide at the shoulder


*1.63 feet 


After:  This is after my daughter edited it.


This pattern continued for a good 30 seconds, then my sword lit up and started trailing a ribbon of light as wide as my sword was long. Krrall’s sword couldn’t go through it, so I tried to keep it in between Krrall and me. A new pattern began; Krrall swung, hit my light with a dreadful screeching sound and was thrown back violently. I then went forward and hacked at his sword, and then Krrall would swing again. It wasn’t too long till Krrall decided to stab at me. Then, stepping back, I slammed my sword on to the flat of Krrall’s, pushing it to the ground. I put my boot on the tip and slammed my shoulder against his. A move I had used on Eyrhoss dozens of times, it was usually followed by me putting the tip of my sword to his throat and saying; “Dead”.  This time, I put the tip of my sword on the cross guard of Narafayorlumo, Krralls possessed blade. As if my sword knew what it was doing, it slid out of my hand falling onto the sword. On the ground the parts of the swords lined up. As the tip of lumonara moved toward the tip of Narafayorlumo, black and red mist poured out of it. When the swords were lined up, the mist had formed itself into a massive, vaguely human shape with horns. It was at least six kereets* tall and three kereets wide at the shoulder 

*1.63 feet.

I look forward to reading it when they are finished with it.  I am so glad that my son has gotten to even this point, that he can type/spell this well is amazing to me.  Some of you may know we've struggled with dysgraphia and reluctance to type over the years.  My daughter would like me to add that this is after her first edit.  The first time, she goes through, she tries to discern meaning.  The second time she goes through she looks for spelling and grammar errors. 

No comments:

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails