Struggling!

I'm studying for coding every single day that I don't have to work, 7 days a week.  I do not enjoy it.  I'm also, now, getting up early and coding before work.  Right at this moment, it's 6:20 a.m. and I'm taking a mental health break from coding to write this blog post.   It's hard.   It's just a struggle.   I don't think I'm going to pass the test.  I don't think there is any possibility that I'll pass it.   I am frustrated with them taking my money for extensions and memberships and I feel like it's a racket.  I wish there was an apprenticeship for coding. That is something I could get behind.  This studying a poorly written chapter, watching a poorly executed computerized lecture and then answering oddly specific tricky questions on an exam is not my cup of tea.  I just got docked on an exam for not knowing, off the top of my head, without looking it up or ever being presented with the information, that an Oxinium knee replacement is made of oxidized zirconium and is a metallic alloy with a ceramic surface.   I'm not kidding.  God, how I wish I was. 

It's awful. 

I hope everyone else is having a nicer summer than I am.  The rest of my family is still pretty much quarantined and I've had about as much COVID as I can take.  I want the test to be over and I want COVID to be over. 

I'm weary.