It's hard to describe. I've never experienced this kind of grief before. I still cry, not all the time, but maybe once every 3 or 4 hours, a thought will hit me and I'll cry just a little bit. Then a little while later, I'll be laughing and in a good mood. I'm not doing much housework, not much work and not much school. I'm just not capable of making myself care about it. Although I really want the house cleaned up, I can't motivate myself to do much of it. I do a little bit here and there. I've been watching more TV than usual, playing the Sims more than usual. I've wanted to do more Mad Libs and board games with the kids and I really want them to go pretty much everywhere with me, because if I get in the car alone, it's worse. I've got some decisions to make but I've been procrastinating about them. I have been trying to get my mom scheduled with a doctor for her back and made several phone calls also regarding my son's ankle. I don't know if he'll have to have surgery yet, but I suspect so. They should call back tomorrow and let me know. He went to a youth retreat this weekend and I attended a couple of the events that the parents were invited to. That was kind of neat. I did see a woman I think I went to school with and she said Hi to me and used my name and I have no idea who she was. Sigh. I hate forgetting people.
Anyway, that's how I am doing.
4 comments:
Sweetie hang in there. Things will be hard for a while. But remember to keep all your precous memories alive within. You have to keep going for your family and for yourself and I am certain your dear loved one would want that as well. Hang in there You are in my prayers! God Bless you friend.
Loss is do hard. Having experienced it myself I can honestly say I know how you feel. Here is an awesome site. Please go check it out. I am confident it will help you. It helped me and all those I've sent to it the past few years. The site is
journeyofhearts.org
So sorry about your loss. This site may help you. It helped me and many others that I sent there. Please check it out. I will be keeping you in prayer. The site is
journeyofhearts.org
You know that I totally understand and empathize with your situation. Keep doing those little steps (like having one school day or one school hour). I know you are trying to focus on God. I hid behind activity (staying too busy that I stuffed the grief someplace else). It takes awhile to come out from there to face the loss in different ways. We are praying for you and your family.
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