Last night at around 10:00 p.m. when my youngest was finishing his schoolwork, I decided that I had had enough and I remembered the
grounding level 47 post from a couple of years ago. (
Yes, it's quite silly, but they get the point!) I made the decision that the kids are going to be considered grounded to this level every morning when they wake up and can't do anything basically until they get their school work done, other than eat breakfast. The girl, who was not still working last night at 10, nonetheless, doesn't get started until usually 2 in the afternoon and finishes in the early evening, so she's included too. If they aren't done with school in the afternoon when I run errands, they can't go with me so it frustrates me when I want to do something fun along with the errands and they can't. The girl and I are still working on the presidential active lifestyle award and we need to do an hour of exercise every day. Sometimes we like to go walking other places than our own street or go to a tennis court or something and since we started school back, scheduling this has been very difficult. We'll see how this works.
I only have one at home now, but I also struggle with the same issues. I believe I'm going to the grounding stage also. We won't start school till next week, then have to take two days off and move my daughter to college! Good luck, and remember your not alone!!!
ReplyDeleteSo am I to assume that being a teenager and physcial need for increased sleep that she is sleeping in late and that is why she begins at 2pm? Or is she a procrastinator? Could it be that she has found a way to manipulate your day and unknowingly is doing this as a teen developmental milestone?
ReplyDeleteWell, the word grounding in itself has a negative impact and negativity breeds negativity. SO what else?
She will soon be expect to be an independent effective adult. Afterall, isn't that one of your greatest goals as a parent? Gee I am asking lots questions for you to think about.
She does need grounded but not in the usualy sense of the word. She needs to become better grounded with individual goals and purpose. You must let her know that the world has all kinds of expectations of her as she becomes the adult she is seeking to become. First you must expect her to make accomdations to fit the family better than her individual desires. Mandatory start time, mandatory end time with the threat that she will delay her exit from high school years if she does not get her studies completed. Remove some of the independent study time she has reached and go back to direct teaching as she clearly has not learned to use her resources wisely yet. She must stop running your life.
I know you were just venting and did not ask for help or advise but as a grandparent it is my downfall.
I know your daughter is a wonderful creation and you love her and are proud of her. I am certain she is capable of being more than she is showing you. The worst part of this situation is that she creates a silent frustration within you and controls your day. YOU deserve to be the one in control of you home as the parent.
God Bless!