I'm trying to get going again. Trying to get school done. Trying to work up some enthusiasm for my life. I feel like I'm only half here, like I'm barely limping along. I feel like I've lost my sense of direction and purpose. Nevertheless, I'm trying to get moving. I picked up some videos on sign language last week at the library and we are watching those today. I think the kids will be better at this than I am, just like they were last year with the VBS signs. I can look at it on the TV and totally not be able to figure out how to make the sign even while the lady is repeating it 4 times. It's kind of pitiful really. Despite my shortcomings, I think this may be the foreign language that we do. We tried taking a Spanish class a while back, but we missed the first couple of classes and then we could not keep up. I would like the kids to learn Spanish, but I studied French for 3 years in college and I personally find the 2 languages too similar and get confused. I don't know how useful it would be for the kids to learn French?
I've modified the kid's schedules to take in my youngest son's notebooking/copywork and the older 2 are going to be doing some essay writing. If you hear whining later, I suspect it will be from my daughter. She does not like to write. I think she may take after her father in more ways than looks!
I know things are still difficult for you. Give it time and they will get better. Try to stay focused on the things that need to be done right now, Hang on to the memories and enjoy every day with your family and looking back. Your father would want you to keep going.
ReplyDeleteIts hard losing a loved one you care so much about. I was the same way when my only sibling died. After a while I started realizing my brother would want me to hold on to the memories and find a way to keep him alive in me and my family. So as hard as it was I kept on because I knew he would want it.
I made a scrapbook [rather large] about my brother and his life legacy so that my kids could know about their uncle and who he was to me.
Maybe you and your kids could do a scrapbook together of your dad to keep his life alive in you and share who he was. It is very helpful with the healing, most of all, it brings their life a live in so many ways and makes you more proud of who they were to you. Also, gives your family a sense of closeness to they were and what all their life was about.
Take it one step at a time day by day, healing will come. Praying for you! God bless!
Thank you for taking the time to write such a sweet and sensitive comment. I've read it about 3 times.
ReplyDeleteOne other thing that's really bothering me is, we've given up our foster care license due to my stress and my husband's issues (doesn't want to go to training) and that makes me wonder what to do next.
I guess I just need to throw myself into homeschooling.
Hi Cat
ReplyDeleteI had a good time catching up on your blog. I really enjoy reading it. All my sympathy still with your big loss. All I can say, has been said a thousand times, but it is true: it does get better with time.
Throwing yourself into homeschooling is not a bad idea. Helping children is after all very rewarding. How is your youngest writing/ copying coming along? Hasn't his dislike of writing maybe have something to do with fine motor stress? Does he write with his hand or his whole arm? Just wandering.
What happened to your jobs? Are you still working?
I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't been on the computer for a couple of months and just found out about your dad. I am so very sorry!! Cry, Cry and cry. It really does help. Every day will get just a teeeeeeny bit better. I still cry over my mom and it will be two years this (yucky) month.
ReplyDeleteGet your pictures out and remember all the laughs you had together. I know this is such a hard and trying time for you. I wish we lived closer so I could come over and cry and hug you.
You need time to mourn, just do the basics and don't worry about it.
My ds hates writing also. I am trying the copywork with him also. We are using the bible, but I may see if he wants to do Percy Jackson.
I am here if you need me and again my sympathy is with your whole family.
Bunny